As the recession bites and company budgets are squeezed, more of us are having to work longer hours and take on more responsibility for less money. The result? We're all experiencing daily niggles and setbacks in our professional lives - and that probably includes your partner, too. But if you start competing over who's had the worst day, you could eventually be heading for the divorce courts, according to a recent study by the Florida State University of Business. Researchers found that competitiveness and lack of support between couples was a major cause of both marriage and career derailments.

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

OK, it was a tad annoying that the office printer ran out of paper just when you were trying to produce an urgent report - but does that really justify moaning about it all evening? 'Try to mentally "park" your day-to-day issues before you leave the workplace,' suggests personal development coach Jane C Woods (www.changingpeople.co.uk). 'Take five minutes to review the working day in your head and identify what's outstanding. Write down in a diary or record electronically exactly what you need to do the following day. It will make you feel more in control and consequently calmer during the evening ahead.'

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Still furious that nobody had thought to order extra printer paper? It's time to address your feelings before you take them out on everyone at home. 'You need to be aware of the effect your bad day in the office has had on you,' says Jane C Woods. 'So use the time on the way home to take an honest look at your emotions. Are you angry? Demeaned? Upset? Worried? If you don't take the opportunity to look at yourself and how you feel, the danger is you will project your irritations on to your partner. Work out where those feelings come from - the boss, the set-up, the commute, etc. Then when you get home, you can say, "I've had a rubbish day because of X - but it's good to be here with you..."'

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Spending the entire evening whining about workplace trivialities isn't going to do your relationship any good - but neither is bottling up your feelings completely. After all, good communication is key to a successful relationship. 'How about you and your partner both agree to have a "10-minute download" every evening before you eat?' suggests life coach Carole Ann Rice (www.realcoachingco.com). 'So he has his five-minute rant about how annoying his day was, while you sympathise - then it's your turn to moan while he listens.' The idea is to get it all out of your system before your dinner's ready.

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Obviously, there are times when it's very difficult - and even inadvisable - to switch off completely from your job outside working hours. But the trick is to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 'If you really do have a very important piece of work or deadline-sensitive project that needs your full attention, explain the situation to your partner then make a promise,' says Carole Ann Rice. 'Agree that when the work is completed, you will share a treat - buy a yummy dessert, go out for dinner or have an evening at the cinema or theatre - to celebrate and show your gratitude for his support.'

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

You know how annoying it is when your partner just nods his head and delivers a few well-worn clichés while you're letting off steam about that pesky office paper shortage? Well, it's the same for him when you can't get your head round his workplace woes. 'Sometimes when we're under stress, we just need to be listened to,' says Jane C Woods. 'In relationships, we often think we know what the other person is about to say next, so we only half listen and start answering before they've finished or start doing something else. Then they don't feel listened to, so they keep on and on... Really good listening can shorten the time people need to talk about things because they know they've been heard.'

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Face it: your partner can't do anything about that printer running out of paper. He might be able to sympathise with your workplace frustrations, but chances are he's not in a position to offer any real solutions - so don't expect him to. 'Even so, the act of talking about something can sometimes help you resolve it yourself,' says Jane C Woods. In summary? Have a little moan, by all means, but acknowledge your reasons for doing so - you're just letting off steam about something that's nothing to do with your partner - and learn to recognise when you're becoming a crashing bore!

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Of course, there are times when talking about work with your partner becomes about much more than simply letting off steam. If there's a genuine threat of redundancy or a possibility of promotion that will mean longer hours or relocation, for example, then you'll obviously need to talk these through as a couple and work out your various options. It may be tricky, but it's important to stay as honest, unemotional and objective as possible during these kinds of discussion, so try not to have them when you're tired. Agree to set aside an hour or so at the weekend when you can take time to weigh everything up together, including the financial impact that a change in your working life may have.

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Problems at home can also have a detrimental effect on your work - regardless of the underlying reason behind those problems. And if you've been up arguing half the night because your partner wasn't supportive enough about your workplace woes, those very same issues are going to be amplified the following day. What's more, you're likely to turn up to the office feeling tired, tetchy and ready for a fight. The outcome? More problems - at work and home. 'When you're still angry or upset from yesterday's stress, your working day will likely go in only one direction - down,' says Dr Wayne Hochwarter, lead author of the Florida State University College of Business study.

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work

Everyone needs a break from work - even world leaders, brain surgeons and people who write features for women's websites (ahem!). Finding it difficult to switch off? Alarm bells should be ringing. 'If work is dominating your entire life all the time - regardless of your job - you need to seriously look at whether a hidden need or insecurity is driving it,' says Carole Ann Rice. 'Workaholism is a serious addiction whereby people get a sense of belonging or even a feeling of being "loved" by over-working, and this may require specialist help.' Not sure where to turn? Speak to your GP in the first instance.

You might also like...

Recession-proof your relationship

Manage your marriage

Stay well at work