Sex after the menopause :: help for menopause

Couple smiling in bed, advice and help for menopause from allaboutyou.com

Use it or lose it

You may not be in the mood, but now is the time to have more sex, to relax and rediscover yourself. Regular stimulation will increase your sexual pleasure.

A different look

The effects of ageing and gravity – or just the worry about them – can be passion- killers. Try not to avoid sex because you don’t look as good as you once did. Nor does he! Avoid feeling on show by dimming the lights and hiding your less-than-wasp waist under a negligee. If you have saggy boobs, wear a push-up bra and go on top but face his feet, not his head.

Don't expect the worst

It’s a time of transition, not a life sentence. Yes, the menopause will trigger physical changes and, yes, these may affect your sex life. But then they may not, or the slowdown might be temporary. About 70 per cent of women say their sex life survived the menopause in good nick.

Check your prescriptions

If your libido has taken a nosedive, it may not be down to the menopause. Some prescribed drugs can suppress your sex drive. These include antidepressants like Prozac or Seroxat, and blood pressure pills such as beta-blockers. See your doctor for alternatives. See Is your prescription ruining your sex life?

Give your muscles a workout

Yes, those muscles! After the menopause, orgasms can be less intense. Strengthening your vagina with Kegel exercises will help. To perform Kegels, squeeze your pelvic floor muscles as if you’re trying to hold back urine. Hold for a count of 10, then release slowly. Repeat 10 times, four times a day. See How to tighten your pelvic floor

Don't dry up

What was once a thriving rainforest may have suddenly become a scorched desert. One in five of us will get vaginal dryness when we hit the menopause, so sex becomes downright painful. The good news? Lubrication is a lot more fun – and tastier – than the KY Jelly our mothers used. See 10 of the best vaginal lubricants.

Take your time

It may take you and your man longer to rev into gear. Does that matter? Rediscover foreplay. Plenty of kisses, hugs, massage and oral sex will help you get into you stride.

Aim for a meno-porsche

You’ve heard of men having a mid-life sexual revival, leaving the wife for a younger model, or blowing their wages on a sports car. Women can also, let’s say, re-arrange the bedroom furniture, get a surge of energy between the hot flushes and discover that sex can be fun, at last. Freedom from fear of pregnancy is an aphrodisiac, after all. And maybe the kids have flown the nest – so whoopee!