How to soothe your fears :: Stop worrying :: positive thinking advice :: UK health advice

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Worries have a nasty habit of invading our everyday lives, especially in today's climate. Whenever you turn on the TV or open a newspaper, there's another stark reminder that the world we live in is getting more troubled by the minute. But what can we do about it? Not much really – apart from lie in bed fretting if there's enough cheese spread for the kids' lunches, if you remembered to turn the car lights off, or whether you offended your mum by telling her your big bottom is genetic.

By worrying about everyday situations, we're responding to the bigger picture of world chaos in the only way we know how. ‘The world is full of disturbing events,' says psychologist Dr Gillian Butler. ‘They create a feeling of anxiety and trigger off a stream of smaller worries. Overexposure to the media means we sometimes take in more information than we want. But, whether we're absorbing the pain of world events or not, life is full of risks and we need to find a way to face them.'

10 ways to ease your mind

Recognise that worry is part of life and can be a life-saving response. It serves a purpose and only becomes a problem if it stops you functioning.
Try ‘thought-stopping': substitute a fearful thought with the word 'stop' and visualise yourself lying on a beautiful beach, listening to the sea.
Slow down your bodily response to worries. Pay attention to your breathing when you feel anxious. Take deep, full and slow breaths to help you feel calm.
Increase your physical activity. A gentle walk or 10 minutes' weeding can break the worry cycle and take your mind off your problems.
Do your worries relate to reality? Look logically at your anxious thoughts. If you're worried about your children going to school alone, ask yourself what are the realistic chances of them being abducted or knocked down by a car? Remember, you've prepared them thoroughly for coping with the journey and it's vital to let them learn to deal with life alone.
Take action and address stressful situations. If you're concerned about your relationships, make time to talk calmly about your concerns. If you're worried about your children's school-work, arrange to meet their teacher to discuss ways to help.
Organise your life to cut down on stress. Write lists, keep bills and documents in an easily located file, and make a special place for your keys, purse and glasses so you don't spend a flustered few minutes each morning looking for them.
Try to let go and accept that you can't control everything. To a certain extent, we're in the hands of the gods – so, once in a while, you must turn yourself over to fate.
Establish a ‘worry time' – half an hour to worry on a regular basis. Write down your worries and put them into categories, such as finance, relationships, self-esteem issues and work. Turn your worrying into problem-solving by looking at each group and deciding what action to take. If you wake up in the middle of the night in turmoil, keep a pen and paper handy so you can write down your anxieties – and then see how silly they seem in the morning.
Phone a friend. Voicing your anxieties always helps, so call someone whose opinion you value and discuss your concerns. Get your worries out in the open and gain useful advice on how to deal with them.