I wake up with the sinking sensation that this is the day. Colonic day! I never thought I would have a colonic, I've never wanted to have a colonic, and in fact, as I walk down the King's Road to EF Medispa after work, I can't believe I'm going to have one. But it's recommended as part of the detox and it seemms churlish to duck out.

Victoria cooper, the therapist who is to perform the deed, is a bit like an ethereal fairy or else I have just been frightened out of my rational senses by worry. With long flowing hair, a lulling sing-song voice and an over-powering air of peaceful serenity, she talks me through the procedure. I must be semi-hypnotised by her - I don't even flinch when she shows me the tube that will carry the conents of my colon down the drain.

Insertion - gulp - is so much easier than I had expected; plenty of lubrication and it just glides in easily. Then it's connected to a machine that will send warm water up my rectum and around my colon (I can't believe I'm writing this), where it will pick up waste matter that's been lurking up there for God knows how long, and flush it back out again.

I keep wondering when I'm going to feel the water going up, then realise that nice warm feeling 'down there' is the water. I feel like there's some gas coming out - there is says Victoria, who is so adept at this she can see gas in a tube. It all seems quite natural to have a stranger sitting beside me, occasionally rubbing my stomach encouragingly, as I lie happily on my back with a tube up my bottom. I'm so relaxed I can even raise my head to have a look at the contents of my colon swirling merrily along the tube. 'Lots of sludge,' says Victoria sounding pleased.

It lasts about 30 minutes, then I have 10-minutes by myself in the bathroom - for the residue you understand - then I'm back on the Kings Road again, thinking what a strangely relaxing experience it has been.

People often say they feel 'lighter' after a colonic; I'm not sure if my feelings of lightness come from sheer relief it wasn't anything as awful as I expected, or if it's something more physical. All I know is, I'd rather the stuff I saw swirling down the tube out rather than in.

And, I'm so chilled out that I drift happily through the bedlam that is Victoria station at rush hour, without once thinking I want to punch someone. Then I go home and sleep like a baby.

Feel brave enough to try the detox? Visit the Chris James Mind & Body Cleanse website for more information

Interested in having a colonic? I visited Victoria Cooper at EF Medispa, see www.colonic-association.org for practitioners in your area

Win a 12-day detox pack, worth £79.99. Enter here

Read the detox diary here
Getting started on a detox: oops, maybe not!
Detox diet day 1: probably would have been a good idea to get some food in ...
Detox diet day 2: the joys of reflexology while detoxing
Detox diet day 3: wailing expected
Detox diet day 4: massage and Koi Carp
Day 5: 6 reasons I'm enjoying the detox